the pain of moving on to hi skool

well guess wat
im gonna go to poly hiskool
is this awwsum news or wat?
even though this is preety awesome its very sad
:((
you see
most of my ttly awwsum friendz are goin to diff hi skools
some are goin to lakewood [fakehood]
milikan [my bf4f lilia]
jordan
and cams
now dont tell me that this isnt totally awwful news.
help me get through this
its so sad.
sure ill make lots of new friends but who am i goin to talk to about the good ol days?
some of my friends that are goin to poly dont share the same experiences wit me as do other friends
well
ill deal
ttfn. i gotta sleep. (z-z)
p.s. i got new shoes. they're converse. they're not the usual ones. ill see if i can take a pic and post it up later.
mwah! good nite my beloved readers

untitled poem

as life goes by
i feel as if im standing in the sidelines
im watching myself go through my day
unending
day by day this continues
its routine, unchanging
but it doesnt stop me from feeling
pain, heartbreak, loneliness
at times i wish i was like a robot
for they have no feeling, no emotion
they dont know the hurt of being abandoned
the pain of not being loved
or being lied to
they dont have this sadness that tears the heart apart without mercy
and leaves blood splattered on your life
then, whenever you find the stains it left behind
you remember because each blood stain is a memory
and it tears you apart once again
and it continues on and on
my friends say you're not worth it
that i can do better and you're a waste of my time
and maybe it's true
but i still cant stop your dagger from ripping my heart apart
slowly
so that it causes even more pain
and so that it lasts even longer

my story part 2: the beginning of the end

the beginning of the end...
eight grade
happiness, love
and one special guy
cycle of happiness and pain...
love...
unforgettable, irreplaceable, unconditional
the cycle ends
begins never-ending pain
and sadness
fueled by memories
of us,
of you
i wear a mask of happiness
occasionally the pain surfaces
the pain cracks through my facade
but never for thoo long
because it hurts to show...
show i still care,
that im still in love
this is a memory
i realize im in the hospital
i move and feel my weddin dress shift
i lose consciousness again

my story part 1: here comes the bride...

here comes the bride...
walking up the aisle
heading towards the altar
eyes on the floor
vision blurred by tears
everyone staring
holding their breath
scared to look up
breath becoming constricted
starting to lose consiousness
feet slipping from under her-
falling back
the last thing she sees is the church ceiling
eyes slowly close
one thought and one thought only
im the bride
yes, im the bride
then all fades tho black