well guess wat
im gonna go to poly hiskool
is this awwsum news or wat?
even though this is preety awesome its very sad
:((
you see
most of my ttly awwsum friendz are goin to diff hi skools
some are goin to lakewood [fakehood]
milikan [my bf4f lilia]
jordan
and cams
now dont tell me that this isnt totally awwful news.
help me get through this
its so sad.
sure ill make lots of new friends but who am i goin to talk to about the good ol days?
some of my friends that are goin to poly dont share the same experiences wit me as do other friends
well
ill deal
p.s. i got new shoes. they're converse. they're not the usual ones. ill see if i can take a pic and post it up later.
mwah! good nite my beloved readers
Sunday, April 13, 2008
untitled poem
as life goes by
i feel as if im standing in the sidelines
im watching myself go through my day
unending
day by day this continues
its routine, unchanging
but it doesnt stop me from feeling
pain, heartbreak, loneliness
at times i wish i was like a robot
for they have no feeling, no emotion
they dont know the hurt of being abandoned
the pain of not being loved
or being lied to
they dont have this sadness that tears the heart apart without mercy
and leaves blood splattered on your life
then, whenever you find the stains it left behind
you remember because each blood stain is a memory
and it tears you apart once again
and it continues on and on
my friends say you're not worth it
that i can do better and you're a waste of my time
and maybe it's true
but i still cant stop your dagger from ripping my heart apart
slowly
so that it causes even more pain
and so that it lasts even longer
i feel as if im standing in the sidelines
im watching myself go through my day
unending
day by day this continues
its routine, unchanging
but it doesnt stop me from feeling
pain, heartbreak, loneliness
at times i wish i was like a robot
for they have no feeling, no emotion
they dont know the hurt of being abandoned
the pain of not being loved
or being lied to
they dont have this sadness that tears the heart apart without mercy
and leaves blood splattered on your life
then, whenever you find the stains it left behind
you remember because each blood stain is a memory
and it tears you apart once again
and it continues on and on
my friends say you're not worth it
that i can do better and you're a waste of my time
and maybe it's true
but i still cant stop your dagger from ripping my heart apart
slowly
so that it causes even more pain
and so that it lasts even longer
my story part 2: the beginning of the end
the beginning of the end...
eight grade
happiness, love
and one special guy
cycle of happiness and pain...
love...
unforgettable, irreplaceable, unconditional
the cycle ends
begins never-ending pain
and sadness
fueled by memories
of us,
of you
i wear a mask of happiness
occasionally the pain surfaces
the pain cracks through my facade
but never for thoo long
because it hurts to show...
show i still care,
that im still in love
this is a memory
i realize im in the hospital
i move and feel my weddin dress shift
i lose consciousness again
eight grade
happiness, love
and one special guy
cycle of happiness and pain...
love...
unforgettable, irreplaceable, unconditional
the cycle ends
begins never-ending pain
and sadness
fueled by memories
of us,
of you
i wear a mask of happiness
occasionally the pain surfaces
the pain cracks through my facade
but never for thoo long
because it hurts to show...
show i still care,
that im still in love
this is a memory
i realize im in the hospital
i move and feel my weddin dress shift
i lose consciousness again
my story part 1: here comes the bride...
here comes the bride...
walking up the aisle
heading towards the altar
eyes on the floor
vision blurred by tears
everyone staring
holding their breath
scared to look up
breath becoming constricted
starting to lose consiousness
feet slipping from under her-
falling back
the last thing she sees is the church ceiling
eyes slowly close
one thought and one thought only
im the bride
yes, im the bride
then all fades tho black
walking up the aisle
heading towards the altar
eyes on the floor
vision blurred by tears
everyone staring
holding their breath
scared to look up
breath becoming constricted
starting to lose consiousness
feet slipping from under her-
falling back
the last thing she sees is the church ceiling
eyes slowly close
one thought and one thought only
im the bride
yes, im the bride
then all fades tho black
Monday, March 24, 2008
hello hackers of the world!!!
well hello there my occasional readers. its been a while hasnt it? wow. can you believe how fast the time goes by.....?
well i come baring interesting news.
i found a hack site. for those of you that know how to hack [either for good or evil] there is a website out there that can let you hack freely. its legal and it has tons of hacking missions. there are basic missions, programming missions, JavaScript missions, and other types of hacking missions. this website lets you use your hacking skills without worrying about doing something against the law. also it helps you improve your hacking skills. the people that are members of this website arent just competitors in missions, they are a community. they are not low-life, disorganized criminals but people who want information on the internet to be allowed to be read by everyone. and if this doesnt appeal to you hten how about this: if you learn to hack then you can get on myspace on a school computer.
here is the website: http://www.hackthissite.org/
well i come baring interesting news.
i found a hack site. for those of you that know how to hack [either for good or evil] there is a website out there that can let you hack freely. its legal and it has tons of hacking missions. there are basic missions, programming missions, JavaScript missions, and other types of hacking missions. this website lets you use your hacking skills without worrying about doing something against the law. also it helps you improve your hacking skills. the people that are members of this website arent just competitors in missions, they are a community. they are not low-life, disorganized criminals but people who want information on the internet to be allowed to be read by everyone. and if this doesnt appeal to you hten how about this: if you learn to hack then you can get on myspace on a school computer.
here is the website: http://www.hackthissite.org/
Friday, November 9, 2007
i am your soulmate
hello, i am your soulmate.
the one person on this person in this world who is perfect for you in every way. yes i exist. everyone you've ever met or been with pales in comparison to me. there are about six million people on this earth and you encounter about one thousand people each day. we are perfect for each other and yet we have never met because we cross each others paths about once every six thousand years. if we are ever going to beat these statistics, you have to work harder because so far you have done a spectacular job of messing this up! remember that one time you were buying gum and the clerk asked you if you wanted a bag and you said no because you were in a hurry? if you had just waited those extra three seconds, you would have gotten to the theaters late and you would have wasted time in buying your ticket. by that time i would have been there and we would have entered the movie together. afterward we might have gone to starbucks or the mall and POW, fifty years of sun-filled days on our beach house in hawaii. another example... remember when you signed up for a band class? you should have signed up for a computer class! i was taking a computer class! how hard was that to figure out? next time dont think about signing up for a computer class because i might have moved on to an art class. i cant tell you exactly where i will be because if you really are my soulmate then you would know! you would know!
these worda are at the end of the sex and dating chapter in stephen colbert's book: I AM AMERICA (AND SO CAN YOU!)
the one person on this person in this world who is perfect for you in every way. yes i exist. everyone you've ever met or been with pales in comparison to me. there are about six million people on this earth and you encounter about one thousand people each day. we are perfect for each other and yet we have never met because we cross each others paths about once every six thousand years. if we are ever going to beat these statistics, you have to work harder because so far you have done a spectacular job of messing this up! remember that one time you were buying gum and the clerk asked you if you wanted a bag and you said no because you were in a hurry? if you had just waited those extra three seconds, you would have gotten to the theaters late and you would have wasted time in buying your ticket. by that time i would have been there and we would have entered the movie together. afterward we might have gone to starbucks or the mall and POW, fifty years of sun-filled days on our beach house in hawaii. another example... remember when you signed up for a band class? you should have signed up for a computer class! i was taking a computer class! how hard was that to figure out? next time dont think about signing up for a computer class because i might have moved on to an art class. i cant tell you exactly where i will be because if you really are my soulmate then you would know! you would know!
these worda are at the end of the sex and dating chapter in stephen colbert's book: I AM AMERICA (AND SO CAN YOU!)
i am in love with him..... sigh..........
omigawd!!!!!!!!
i am so in love.
remember the guy that i said i loved. well i was trying to move on because he kept breaking my heart. i think that we all knew that and i think we all know how hard it was for me to move on. everytime that i tried to move on i couldnt because he was always there. no matter what i did he was always there in the way of me trying to get over him. well i am so happy now. it turns out that he couldnt move on either. the problem is that i dont know if he really does love me or if he is thinking down there instead of with his heart. and yet i still love him. i will always love him. no matter what happens, i will always love him. no matter what he does to break my heart, i will always love him because he's the first person i've loved.
i am so in love.
remember the guy that i said i loved. well i was trying to move on because he kept breaking my heart. i think that we all knew that and i think we all know how hard it was for me to move on. everytime that i tried to move on i couldnt because he was always there. no matter what i did he was always there in the way of me trying to get over him. well i am so happy now. it turns out that he couldnt move on either. the problem is that i dont know if he really does love me or if he is thinking down there instead of with his heart. and yet i still love him. i will always love him. no matter what happens, i will always love him. no matter what he does to break my heart, i will always love him because he's the first person i've loved.
"i am america (and so can you!)"
do you watch the colbert report?
well if you dont, you should. it is super hilarious.
for those of you who do watch the colbert report, you know that he has written a book.
what is the name of the book?
I AM AMERICA (AND SO CAN YOU!)
if you dont buy the book because you dont know what it is about, then i suggest that you download the podcast.
the podcast is stephen colbert talking about the book.
like the show, the podcast about the book is super hilarious. i mean come on, its stephen colbert talking about religion for god's sake! [no joke intended]
you should really download the podcast if you want to know what the book is about.
"the heroes of america are the ones that buy this book. if you borrow this book, you are not a hero! with that being said, we will not distribute this book to libraries. you get no free ride!" are the words of my beloved STEPHEN COLBERT!!!!!!!!
well if you dont, you should. it is super hilarious.
for those of you who do watch the colbert report, you know that he has written a book.
what is the name of the book?
I AM AMERICA (AND SO CAN YOU!)
if you dont buy the book because you dont know what it is about, then i suggest that you download the podcast.
the podcast is stephen colbert talking about the book.
like the show, the podcast about the book is super hilarious. i mean come on, its stephen colbert talking about religion for god's sake! [no joke intended]
you should really download the podcast if you want to know what the book is about.
"the heroes of america are the ones that buy this book. if you borrow this book, you are not a hero! with that being said, we will not distribute this book to libraries. you get no free ride!" are the words of my beloved STEPHEN COLBERT!!!!!!!!
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
friends and pain
as you all may know, i recently went through some more pain. [i think we all know who was the cause of this pain]
as i sit here writing this i remember thinking [not too long ago] that we dont need anyone "special" to love us as long as we have the love given to us by either friends or family.
and as i sit here writing this and remembering what i had thought, it was a lot easier to let go of all my pain [ok, well maybe not all of it but most of it] and i can honestly say that it is easier for me to let go of the people that have hurt me emotionally.
i feel as though i can overcome anything because i know that no matter what, i will always have loving, caring, absolutely amazing friends.
they show me support and they help me through the thick and thin and the ups and downs of life and teenage love and for that i am grateful.
and know i think,
how did i possible come across friends like these?
how is it that i managed to mantain these friends for pracitically three years?
and basically, i dont feel as if i deserve these friends.
after all i have done and all the problems that i have gone through, they should not have to worry about me. they should worry about themselves but i realize that because they care about me so much, they are the great friends that i know and love.
a great song for this is "my friends over you" by new found glory
as i sit here writing this i remember thinking [not too long ago] that we dont need anyone "special" to love us as long as we have the love given to us by either friends or family.
and as i sit here writing this and remembering what i had thought, it was a lot easier to let go of all my pain [ok, well maybe not all of it but most of it] and i can honestly say that it is easier for me to let go of the people that have hurt me emotionally.
i feel as though i can overcome anything because i know that no matter what, i will always have loving, caring, absolutely amazing friends.
they show me support and they help me through the thick and thin and the ups and downs of life and teenage love and for that i am grateful.
and know i think,
how did i possible come across friends like these?
how is it that i managed to mantain these friends for pracitically three years?
and basically, i dont feel as if i deserve these friends.
after all i have done and all the problems that i have gone through, they should not have to worry about me. they should worry about themselves but i realize that because they care about me so much, they are the great friends that i know and love.
a great song for this is "my friends over you" by new found glory
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